Saturday, 18 June 2011

breaking up not breaking down

as it turns out, not everything can be solved by a nice cup of tea, though i'd be lying if i said it didn't help, especially after one of those hysterical crying sessions that i hadn't had since not being allowed the packet of biscuits/cereal i wanted whilst being carted around sainsburys age 5. the one where you'd cry so hard that you can't breathe and you forget what got you started in the first place, except that this time you don't forget and you can see yourself and feel ashamed of your scrunched up facial expression and runny orifices.

from previous experience, all you need to get over someone is someone else but at the risk of slipping into a hateful pattern of serial monogamy i'm attempting to go it alone for a while and using the well known tactic of distraction to keep me from thinking of mr x.

throwing yourself into work requires a job, which for the moment, no one seems willing to give me. monday is the day of chasing people up to remind them why hiring me before they go on holiday is the new black. it's strange to be back in london and no, i'm not glad to be back... yet. that'll come once the initial starting over again has started to take shape. i've done the catching up with friends over the last couple of weeks so the order of events now runs thusly: job, flat, happiness, relationship.

not to worry, i still have plenty more comparisons to make. i call this paragraph "vomderground":

after the paris metro with its gangrenous tramps, i found i had this vision of the london underground as this pristine haven, and so it should be for those prices and how insurmountable the barriers are! this vision was cruelly shattered last week when someone threw up 2mm away from my shoe, yes, the lace and tan brogues. it was the welcome back slap in the face that i hadn't expected. in non-london style, i moved away to the other end of the carriage to leave the man to fall into a drunken coma as his terracotta-coloured sick rolled around the carriage. the other passengers seemed more concerned to see if i was ok than him... which was nice.